Could I really see myself doing this in the long term?

I'm just going to jot down a few reflections as clinical school progresses - it's really interesting to see how my attitude towards medicine is rapidly (but subtly) changing day by day. I've been "on the wards" for three days now, and I've met quite a few patients. Every experience I have with a patient is at present, fundamentally important for me. This is going to sound really strange, but I find each interaction intense in its own way. I guess we have only minutes to get to know someone and ask them some really important and personal questions, at a time when they are at their most vulnerable.

Each time I leave the hospital wards for the day, I end up with a load of thoughts and feelings that need to be fully explored - this results in an awful lot of recollections that get hastily written up in a place such as this, without adequate time to mull them over! Perhaps it's more accurate for me to publish as is, though, so that you get a feeling for the state of my mind during this time.

The title of this post (which was started a couple of days ago) plays into my fears recently discussed, that I'm just not right for the job. I know that everyone gets these fears at some point during their training and I suppose the start of clinical school is the natural time to doubt one's vocation... and yet these feelings caused me a large amount of confusion and distress during my first week or so at clinical school.

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