Week of Guided Prayer: Day 4
Hello again! Today has been a more fruitful day of prayer - this came as a pleasant surprise following a day which I found difficult. For some reason, I felt like I hadn't achieved as much as I would have liked to, and felt rather sad on returning home.
During my prayer today (as with every day previously) I've been listening to music which I really enjoy, and which gets me thinking about the kinds of things I would like to discuss with God. Music is perhaps the one important thing I left off the list from earlier - it's been instrumental in my prayer so far and I've gotten important insights from whatever music I'm listening to. Earlier in the week, I was listening to a piece (Four Madrigals on Renaissance Texts: IV) by Laurisden (an American choral writer that I really like) and it made me really appreciate the things in my life - my friends, my family, my church - that help to balance out what feels like a challenging process of interaction with the universe. I could really feel something in the music lifting (a thing? a person?) above a tumultuous, rolling background. Today, I listened to some music from the recent (2005) adaptation of Pride and Prejudice - it's film music designed to capture a moment of great tension, and so gave me the impression that I was rushing forward towards an ending, a realization of some kind. Unexpectedly, the big idea that's been at the back of my mind all along (I think) came to the surface.
I just want someone to share my life with.
I've spoken about Psalm 25 before; it's one of my favourite Psalms and it always moves me to hear it.
"Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth, and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all day long."
I feel suddenly as if I am weary, as if I have been waiting a long time not just for God to appear (as he does occasionally in glimpses) but for another person to share my daily experiences with, to immerse in my inner world. This, I'm sure you'll realize, is a somewhat egocentric request - I don't seek the relief of any person except myself. I'm suffering from a strange type of loneliness, even though I have people who care about me and therefore, I feel bad even mentioning it. Perhaps there are a number of reasons why I've been unwilling to admit this fact to anyone, even to myself, for so long - but no matter, it's there now. It's out in the open, though I don't know whether this makes me feel better. Do we even need knowledge of our problems to fix them?
During my prayer today (as with every day previously) I've been listening to music which I really enjoy, and which gets me thinking about the kinds of things I would like to discuss with God. Music is perhaps the one important thing I left off the list from earlier - it's been instrumental in my prayer so far and I've gotten important insights from whatever music I'm listening to. Earlier in the week, I was listening to a piece (Four Madrigals on Renaissance Texts: IV) by Laurisden (an American choral writer that I really like) and it made me really appreciate the things in my life - my friends, my family, my church - that help to balance out what feels like a challenging process of interaction with the universe. I could really feel something in the music lifting (a thing? a person?) above a tumultuous, rolling background. Today, I listened to some music from the recent (2005) adaptation of Pride and Prejudice - it's film music designed to capture a moment of great tension, and so gave me the impression that I was rushing forward towards an ending, a realization of some kind. Unexpectedly, the big idea that's been at the back of my mind all along (I think) came to the surface.
I just want someone to share my life with.
I've spoken about Psalm 25 before; it's one of my favourite Psalms and it always moves me to hear it.
"Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth, and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all day long."
I feel suddenly as if I am weary, as if I have been waiting a long time not just for God to appear (as he does occasionally in glimpses) but for another person to share my daily experiences with, to immerse in my inner world. This, I'm sure you'll realize, is a somewhat egocentric request - I don't seek the relief of any person except myself. I'm suffering from a strange type of loneliness, even though I have people who care about me and therefore, I feel bad even mentioning it. Perhaps there are a number of reasons why I've been unwilling to admit this fact to anyone, even to myself, for so long - but no matter, it's there now. It's out in the open, though I don't know whether this makes me feel better. Do we even need knowledge of our problems to fix them?
Comments
Post a Comment